Just Whatever

 
I forgot I had this blog opened. I have been missing having a forum to get things off my mind. Stay tuned because I have lots of things I want to get off my chest.
 I have been thinking a lot about religious abuse, especially with the two "religious leaders" that have been in the media after YouTube videos were found with their sermons on beating the "gay" out of children and the pure hatred that is being preached in SOME religions. I, of course, don't have anything against religion in general but I do not condone using any kind of God to spread hate!
I have watched the reactions of people when watching Anderson Cooper and Dr. Drew and I cannot believe that there are people that still think this way. Although we have come a long long way in equality we still have a lot of work to do if we still have people that believe gay people should be put to death.
A lot of these preachers that are focusing sermons on the sin of homosexuality are quoting from Leviticus in the bible. They obviously didn`t study it enough because those passages also say that any woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night is to be stoned to death. It also says that pig shouldn`t be eaten on certain days.
I believe that like any writing is open to interpretation. Look at how each religion has interpreted the bible to suit their own beliefs.
These people say that no one can be born gay....are they so ignorant that they actually believe people can choose a lifestyle that would be completely against their natural instincts or that they would choose a life that so many people abhor.........
Your thoughts please

Perverts

You know what some people think gay people are?

Perverts!

They think we are after their children, to convert them to our perverted ways.

They think we shouldn't be in positions of authority because we will corrupt society.

Gay people cannot be teachers, politicians, doctors, social workers...etc.

But...

The world is changing!

We are teachers,

We are lawyers,

We are politicians,

We are your doctors, your nurses, your child care providers, your police officers.

And we have not corrupted society in any way.

You know, if you think about it.

If the people in positions of power really did have an affect on society, then back in the 70's we all would have grown up and became nuns because weren't we all taught by nuns?

So if people in positions of authority have THAT much sway in how children are raised, none of us would have been gay because we were taught that was wrong.

I work with youth and not one of the youth I have worked with have ever gone from being hetero to being homo because of my influence on them.

As a matter of fact, I don't teach them that I am gay, or that gay is the way!

I had a young girl ask me the other day, "Soooo, are you a lesbian?"

And I replied, "No dear, I am a human being!"

You Be the Judge

My good friend, George, wrote a blog on another site the other day that really made me think, and it inspired me.

It was about PDA (public displays of affection.)

For me, PDA has a whole 'nother meaning.

When I played hetero, it was okay to hold hands with a guy, it was okay to give him a kiss goodbye at work, to say, "Love you," in a crowd of people and to take him home to mom and dad.

Why do I get so much flack and looks of disdain when I do the same with my girlfriend?

Why is it not okay to hold my girlfriend's hand, give her a kiss in public, take her to a work function or take home to mom and dad?

My mom has been fine with meeting my girlfriends but most parents aren't.

I had one girlfriend who always held my hand in public, kissed me, introduced everyone to me as her girlfriend, she had no issues with that.

I had another girlfriend, who refused to hold hands in public, kiss in public and we had to pretend we were just good friends in front of her dad.

The first girlfriend I ever had, would not even come out of the closet.

I was always her "good friend."

Am I showing disrespect for those who care not to see my lifestyle?

I think not!

I think as long as people have eyes they can avert in another direction, we have the right to show our love to anyone we choose.

Years ago, a white woman could not be seen with a person of another race.

I think it's time that as a people, we stop judging people based on differences.

History and time have proven that such ignorance only causes violence and division.

I may not want to see men and women showing affection in public but if it bothered me, I have the choice to turn away.

The same as I have the choice to change the channel on TV if I do not like the show.

My mother thinks I am a bad parent for encouraging my son in his open gay lifestyle.

I am sorry, it is not a lifestyle, it is not a choice, it is a fact and part of his human makeup.

My son has the right to show affection for a boy, to have a facebook status that shows he is in a relationship with a boy, and he has the right to go to his prom with a boy and kiss him on the dance floor like all his hetero friends have the right to do.

I will never discourage my son from being himself and fighting for his human rights.

My mother thinks I am just setting him up for a beating or a killing.

My son says, "I would rather die because I am gay, than live and hide who I am."

I say, "Son, you are right, You have taught me a great lesson in life."

I didn't have the courage to come out of the closet until after he was born.

I went back in because my family told me that I would ruin my son's life.

My son came out when he was 11 or 12 and I was inspired to come back out again myself.

Of course, my lesbianism caused him to be gay, you know.

Oh well, as long as other people in the family don't have to worry about anything they ever did to make my son gay. It wouldn't be that he was just plain born that way?

Something I did must have traumatised him.

I actually had one man tell me that because I was a single mother who was strong and opinionated that it made my son gay.

Anyway, way off topic now.

So what do you think?

Are public displays of affection okay for gay people?

Are we being disrespectful to hetero people that are not comfortable with it?

Or does the disrespect lie elsewhere?

You be the judge!

The Greatest Gift

Its been days!
A few days with nothing to do but think and reflect.
No outside influences.
No anger...well, a little bit, after all what is gay without drama?
On day 3, I sit and think about love!!
I ask myself, "What is love?"
I ask myself, "How do I know when I am loved?"
The answers became very clear to me...
To love, you have to give of yourself unequivocally.
Take down all your walls, let go of all your fears and open up to share your very existance.
Not to strip bare of your clothing, but to bare yourself to the very core!
To lay it all out in the open.
Share your greatest strengths and your greatest weaknesses, and not be afraid to do so.
The greatest gift you can ever give someone is to give them unconditonal love and acceptance and expect nothing in return.
So that is what I have done the last few days.
Doesn't seem like much but its huge for me.

Gay Drama

One thing I hear a lot that really bothers me is that there is so much drama in the gay world.
There is a lot of drama in the gay world but I am very quick to point out that there is just the same amount of drama in the hetero world too.
People break up, they cheat, they fight.
The gay world is a much smaller community so it travels faster and sometimes seems to hurt more.
When I was playing in the hetero world, I got hurt-but not nearly as much as I do in my openly gay world.
I have many theories as to why.
First of all, many of us gay people have been told a lot throughout our lives that what we are is unnatural, is wrong and should be hidden.
So when we do decide to come out and live our lives regardless of what others say, we take with us all the resentment and shame into our relationships.
For me, I become very emotionally unstable in my gay relationships because we give up so much in life to be true to ourselves and in the hetero world, not all of my heart was there.
People didn't have the power to hurt me like I can get hurt now.
The key for me is to be true to myself and to the people in my life.
Life can be so unfair sometimes that we tend to continue the unfairness in our relationships.
Sometimes we have been told so much that we are wrong in how we feel that we carry that over to the people we love.
Anyone who watches the L Word and has seen the chart can see how the gay world works.
Because so many people stay in the closet and are not true to how they feel, it makes our community small.
When I started dating a girl, lets call her Sally, she asked if I knew Loni, who is friends with Carrie, who hangs with my friend Kelly. Sally dated Loni, my ex girlfriend is friends with Carrie and Kelly, so the person I did not know at all because the focal point in my life and relationship.
Yeah, I know, confusing eh?
When I make a new relationship with anyone within the gay community, there are so many ties, to so many people that it becomes a tangled web.
Sally talks to her friend about her new relationship, who tells her friend, who goes to Sally's ex, who contacts my ex and the story becomes so poisened by then that ten people end up hurt over something that didn't happen. Or becomes hurt by what other people perceive to be happening.
So, yeah, there is a hell of a lot of drama in the gay lifestyle.
There is the same drama in the hetero life but it has so many more channels to go through and by the time it gets back, it doesn't matter anymore.
I don't like drama, but I love life and I love women so the drama will come with it.
The only thing I can do about it is change how I react to it and how I handle it.
The first time I had my heart broken by a woman I went back into the closet for many many years.
I am not prepared to hurt myself so much by doing that again.
My job now is to change how I act and react.
The only way to stay out of the drama is to not react to it.
We already are such a small community, we have to do everything in our power to maintain our friendships and relationships so as not to disturb the progress we have made.
We need to stick together and show the rest of the world that we are the same as them.
We will never progress fully until we accept ourselves as a community and grow and be proud, celebrate with each other instead of fueding.
My job right now is to accept myself for who I am and be able to accept all the rest of the world in the same way.
It's a new day!

Unbeautiful

"You look old in that shirt!"
"You're a dork!"
"I noticed!"
"Must have been real tired when you wrote that!"
"What do you want from me!"
"What is your issue?"
"What are you on about now?"
"Your hair looks funny!"

Why do I feel unbeautiful?
Why did I feel unbeautiful?
It is hard to love yourself when the person you love cannot love anything other than the scar on your lip and the curve in your back.
When someone says they said they loved because they thought they were in love but doesn't know what love is.
The lies, the excuses and the words...
They cut deeper than any knife could.
I couldn't feel more pain if I stabbed myself.
You think you are a nice person?
Money and a car do not make you a good person.
Honesty and loyalty do.
As many times as I have been hurt in my lifetime, the beatings, the cheating, the violence...
It all seems trivial to the pain you have caused.
Good people do not do these things to people they care about.

Thank goodness, my beauty blossoms.
Even though I am bitter and trust will take time.
I have been given a gift.
The gift that someone does think I am beautiful.
That I am worth waiting for.
That no matter how badly I hurt now, they are willing to take away my pain.
Restore my faith.
Love me for who I am.
Walk beside me.

For all the damage you have done, you have not broken me.
The people that believe in me most, will stand behind and offer the arms of support.
You must feel a lot of pain for not having anything to believe in.
No values to rely on to guide you.
No semblance as to what love is and what love can do for you.
To not love yourself for who you could be.
For that, I pity you.

I will only be stronger, love better and become more beautiful!
You only have regret to look forward to.

Faggot!

My son has been lucky!
He has not encountered a whole lot of hate...yet.
I hope he never does.
I had begun to think the world was changing, we were advancing.
Although, we have changed somewhat, it wasn't as I thought.
A young gay boy cam inot our lives in this past year, he is like family here.
Reality struck for me when he would phone from his hometown and we could hear words like faggot, cocksucker and other derragatory comments being yelled in the background.
I was also very surprised when he told me that he is not allowed to change in the boys locker room at school because the "straight" boys feel uncomfortable.
Does this sound like we have progressed?
How would you feel if this were your child?