Tuesday, February 24, 2009
You know what some people think gay people are?
They think we are after their children, to convert them to our perverted ways.
They think we shouldn't be in positions of authority because we will corrupt society.
Gay people cannot be teachers, politicians, doctors, social workers...etc.
The world is changing!
We are teachers,
We are lawyers,
We are politicians,
We are your doctors, your nurses, your child care providers, your police officers.
And we have not corrupted society in any way.
You know, if you think about it.
If the people in positions of power really did have an affect on society, then back in the 70's we all would have grown up and became nuns because weren't we all taught by nuns?
So if people in positions of authority have THAT much sway in how children are raised, none of us would have been gay because we were taught that was wrong.
I work with youth and not one of the youth I have worked with have ever gone from being hetero to being homo because of my influence on them.
As a matter of fact, I don't teach them that I am gay, or that gay is the way!
I had a young girl ask me the other day, "Soooo, are you a lesbian?"
And I replied, "No dear, I am a human being!"
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My good friend, George, wrote a blog on another site the other day that really made me think, and it inspired me.
It was about PDA (public displays of affection.)
For me, PDA has a whole 'nother meaning.
When I played hetero, it was okay to hold hands with a guy, it was okay to give him a kiss goodbye at work, to say, "Love you," in a crowd of people and to take him home to mom and dad.
Why do I get so much flack and looks of disdain when I do the same with my girlfriend?
Why is it not okay to hold my girlfriend's hand, give her a kiss in public, take her to a work function or take home to mom and dad?
My mom has been fine with meeting my girlfriends but most parents aren't.
I had one girlfriend who always held my hand in public, kissed me, introduced everyone to me as her girlfriend, she had no issues with that.
I had another girlfriend, who refused to hold hands in public, kiss in public and we had to pretend we were just good friends in front of her dad.
The first girlfriend I ever had, would not even come out of the closet.
I was always her "good friend."
Am I showing disrespect for those who care not to see my lifestyle?
I think not!
I think as long as people have eyes they can avert in another direction, we have the right to show our love to anyone we choose.
Years ago, a white woman could not be seen with a person of another race.
I think it's time that as a people, we stop judging people based on differences.
History and time have proven that such ignorance only causes violence and division.
I may not want to see men and women showing affection in public but if it bothered me, I have the choice to turn away.
The same as I have the choice to change the channel on TV if I do not like the show.
My mother thinks I am a bad parent for encouraging my son in his open gay lifestyle.
I am sorry, it is not a lifestyle, it is not a choice, it is a fact and part of his human makeup.
My son has the right to show affection for a boy, to have a facebook status that shows he is in a relationship with a boy, and he has the right to go to his prom with a boy and kiss him on the dance floor like all his hetero friends have the right to do.
I will never discourage my son from being himself and fighting for his human rights.
My mother thinks I am just setting him up for a beating or a killing.
My son says, "I would rather die because I am gay, than live and hide who I am."
I say, "Son, you are right, You have taught me a great lesson in life."
I didn't have the courage to come out of the closet until after he was born.
I went back in because my family told me that I would ruin my son's life.
My son came out when he was 11 or 12 and I was inspired to come back out again myself.
Of course, my lesbianism caused him to be gay, you know.
Oh well, as long as other people in the family don't have to worry about anything they ever did to make my son gay. It wouldn't be that he was just plain born that way?
Something I did must have traumatised him.
I actually had one man tell me that because I was a single mother who was strong and opinionated that it made my son gay.
Anyway, way off topic now.
So what do you think?
Are public displays of affection okay for gay people?
Are we being disrespectful to hetero people that are not comfortable with it?
Or does the disrespect lie elsewhere?
You be the judge!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Its been days!
A few days with nothing to do but think and reflect.
No outside influences.
No anger...well, a little bit, after all what is gay without drama?
On day 3, I sit and think about love!!
I ask myself, "What is love?"
I ask myself, "How do I know when I am loved?"
The answers became very clear to me...
To love, you have to give of yourself unequivocally.
Take down all your walls, let go of all your fears and open up to share your very existance.
Not to strip bare of your clothing, but to bare yourself to the very core!
To lay it all out in the open.
Share your greatest strengths and your greatest weaknesses, and not be afraid to do so.
The greatest gift you can ever give someone is to give them unconditonal love and acceptance and expect nothing in return.
So that is what I have done the last few days.
Doesn't seem like much but its huge for me.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
One thing I hear a lot that really bothers me is that there is so much drama in the gay world.
There is a lot of drama in the gay world but I am very quick to point out that there is just the same amount of drama in the hetero world too.
People break up, they cheat, they fight.
The gay world is a much smaller community so it travels faster and sometimes seems to hurt more.
When I was playing in the hetero world, I got hurt-but not nearly as much as I do in my openly gay world.
I have many theories as to why.
First of all, many of us gay people have been told a lot throughout our lives that what we are is unnatural, is wrong and should be hidden.
So when we do decide to come out and live our lives regardless of what others say, we take with us all the resentment and shame into our relationships.
For me, I become very emotionally unstable in my gay relationships because we give up so much in life to be true to ourselves and in the hetero world, not all of my heart was there.
People didn't have the power to hurt me like I can get hurt now.
The key for me is to be true to myself and to the people in my life.
Life can be so unfair sometimes that we tend to continue the unfairness in our relationships.
Sometimes we have been told so much that we are wrong in how we feel that we carry that over to the people we love.
Anyone who watches the L Word and has seen the chart can see how the gay world works.
Because so many people stay in the closet and are not true to how they feel, it makes our community small.
When I started dating a girl, lets call her Sally, she asked if I knew Loni, who is friends with Carrie, who hangs with my friend Kelly. Sally dated Loni, my ex girlfriend is friends with Carrie and Kelly, so the person I did not know at all because the focal point in my life and relationship.
Yeah, I know, confusing eh?
When I make a new relationship with anyone within the gay community, there are so many ties, to so many people that it becomes a tangled web.
Sally talks to her friend about her new relationship, who tells her friend, who goes to Sally's ex, who contacts my ex and the story becomes so poisened by then that ten people end up hurt over something that didn't happen. Or becomes hurt by what other people perceive to be happening.
So, yeah, there is a hell of a lot of drama in the gay lifestyle.
There is the same drama in the hetero life but it has so many more channels to go through and by the time it gets back, it doesn't matter anymore.
I don't like drama, but I love life and I love women so the drama will come with it.
The only thing I can do about it is change how I react to it and how I handle it.
The first time I had my heart broken by a woman I went back into the closet for many many years.
I am not prepared to hurt myself so much by doing that again.
My job now is to change how I act and react.
The only way to stay out of the drama is to not react to it.
We already are such a small community, we have to do everything in our power to maintain our friendships and relationships so as not to disturb the progress we have made.
We need to stick together and show the rest of the world that we are the same as them.
We will never progress fully until we accept ourselves as a community and grow and be proud, celebrate with each other instead of fueding.
My job right now is to accept myself for who I am and be able to accept all the rest of the world in the same way.
It's a new day!