Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You Be the Judge

My good friend, George, wrote a blog on another site the other day that really made me think, and it inspired me.

It was about PDA (public displays of affection.)

For me, PDA has a whole 'nother meaning.

When I played hetero, it was okay to hold hands with a guy, it was okay to give him a kiss goodbye at work, to say, "Love you," in a crowd of people and to take him home to mom and dad.

Why do I get so much flack and looks of disdain when I do the same with my girlfriend?

Why is it not okay to hold my girlfriend's hand, give her a kiss in public, take her to a work function or take home to mom and dad?

My mom has been fine with meeting my girlfriends but most parents aren't.

I had one girlfriend who always held my hand in public, kissed me, introduced everyone to me as her girlfriend, she had no issues with that.

I had another girlfriend, who refused to hold hands in public, kiss in public and we had to pretend we were just good friends in front of her dad.

The first girlfriend I ever had, would not even come out of the closet.

I was always her "good friend."

Am I showing disrespect for those who care not to see my lifestyle?

I think not!

I think as long as people have eyes they can avert in another direction, we have the right to show our love to anyone we choose.

Years ago, a white woman could not be seen with a person of another race.

I think it's time that as a people, we stop judging people based on differences.

History and time have proven that such ignorance only causes violence and division.

I may not want to see men and women showing affection in public but if it bothered me, I have the choice to turn away.

The same as I have the choice to change the channel on TV if I do not like the show.

My mother thinks I am a bad parent for encouraging my son in his open gay lifestyle.

I am sorry, it is not a lifestyle, it is not a choice, it is a fact and part of his human makeup.

My son has the right to show affection for a boy, to have a facebook status that shows he is in a relationship with a boy, and he has the right to go to his prom with a boy and kiss him on the dance floor like all his hetero friends have the right to do.

I will never discourage my son from being himself and fighting for his human rights.

My mother thinks I am just setting him up for a beating or a killing.

My son says, "I would rather die because I am gay, than live and hide who I am."

I say, "Son, you are right, You have taught me a great lesson in life."

I didn't have the courage to come out of the closet until after he was born.

I went back in because my family told me that I would ruin my son's life.

My son came out when he was 11 or 12 and I was inspired to come back out again myself.

Of course, my lesbianism caused him to be gay, you know.

Oh well, as long as other people in the family don't have to worry about anything they ever did to make my son gay. It wouldn't be that he was just plain born that way?

Something I did must have traumatised him.

I actually had one man tell me that because I was a single mother who was strong and opinionated that it made my son gay.

Anyway, way off topic now.

So what do you think?

Are public displays of affection okay for gay people?

Are we being disrespectful to hetero people that are not comfortable with it?

Or does the disrespect lie elsewhere?

You be the judge!


  1. I think the line between acceptable PDA and "Get a Room!" should be the same for everybody. :)

  2. I agree. I think we as a community should be able to show PDA just as much as the straight community. I am tired of biggoted hetro's pressing the issue that they don't want their children to see "us" in our sinful "life style". They truthfuly believe and act like we convert people into being gay. They just don't seem to understand we are born gay. Like today I was reading on and I clicked on a story with a link to the AFA (American Family Association). I could not believe what I was reading. They so openly said that Gays in America didn't need Marriage Equality because we already had all the rights we need. They treat us like infected people who they have to avoid at all cause. I also read that the AFA produced an hour long infomercaila about the gay problem. You can find the article on the In a world like this where people are starving, a group that says they stand for the protection of familes is spending millions of dollars to break ours up. How about spending the money to try and help familes losing their homes. I for one and pissed and have had just aboout enough. Oh yeah Lori, would you mind sharing the link to the friend of your blog.

    P.S. I know Andrew is only gay because he was born that way. He should be able to be out as much as he wants.

  3. Hey anonymous!
    Could you contact me via facebook so I can get some links from you?
    I take it I know you because you know my son's name.
    What was the link you wanted? I would be happy to share it!

  4. there's nothing wrong with effection. if you dont like it then dont look

  5. I think PDA is disrespectful no matter what your sexual orientation. I agree with Mike.